The Very Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen is the latest audio drama written and directed by Alex Kemp.

Raul's life in Hong Kong is thrown into chaos when he discovers he can write letters to his favorite author, Sara Cloutier - an author who's been dead for thirty years.

Guided by mysterious forces, they set out to meet in "the middle," in a profound and life-changing attempt to find love and meaning in a broken world.

This show won Best Audio Fiction at The Tribeca Festival 2023 and is nominated for 5 AMBIES including Podcast of the Year at the 2024 Ambie Awards.

 

Charlie and Amber suffer from a rare condition that causes them to hallucinate wildly, but when their psychiatrist goes missing, they team up with the other patients to find him. As the mystery unfolds, they uncover secret societies, an unknown borough of New York hidden under the East River, and half-human half-spider centaur things.

But how do you find the truth when you can’t tell what’s real?

THE IMPERFECTION is a narrative audio drama written and directed by Alex Kemp, and recorded at Wolf at the Door Studios in Venice CA. It was an Official Selection at Tribeca Festival, and was nominated for Podcast of the Year and Best Script Writing at The Ambies. He’s currently working on a TV adaptation with Atomic Monster and WIIP.

SONG ABOUT YOURSELF (1982 version) is a ‘translation’ of Walt Whitman’s poem. Using various software, I copied the poem from english into 5 languages including russian, pashto and others, then translated them back into english. Line by line, I wove together the mistranslations back into the shape of the original text.

 
 
To see the complete text, please click the image.

To see the complete text, please click the image.

 
 
 
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TRANSPORT

by COLD MANSION

17 experiments.

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INTENTIONAL RECORDINGS 2017-2018

by COLD MANSION

About

 
 

Photo by PADDY WILKINS

 

b. NEW YORK CITY - PROVIDENCE RHODE ISLAND [risd] -  NEW YORK AGAIN (BKLYN) - LA THEN SF FOR A SECOND, --> LA to NEW YORK to CHICAGO AND THEN VENICE CA.

(bands:) SMALL FACTORY, GODRAYS, ASSASSINS.

WRITES AND DIRECTS NARRATIVE PODCASTS, like BATMAN UNBURIED and THE IMPERFECTION. MOST RECENT SHOW IS THE VERY WORST THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN. It won best audio fiction at Tribeca and got nominated for 5 AMBIES including Podcast of the Year. Yup.

HAS A RECORDING STUDIO CALLED WOLF AT THE DOOR, AND LIVES WITH HIS WIFE WINNIE AND 2 SONS ATTICUS AND BOOKER in Venice CA but thinks about moving often.

 
 
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GOVERN

Using available online translation sites, I translated HOWL by Allen Ginsberg into 5 different languages- French, Spanish, Russian, German, and Japanese. Then I translated these versions BACK into english. The results were mishappen, unclear, and unintentional changes to the original text. Then I edited together the best fuck ups/mistranslations/new imagery from the machine versions. This is a reading of the final 'translation.'

 
    Govern For Carl Solomon  I  I saw the better spirits of my generation, that is destroyed by the madness, that naked starves hysterical,  dragging to itself along the streets of the black one to the dawn, that seek an evil in daybr…

 

 

 

 

Govern

 

For Carl Solomon 

 

 

I saw the better spirits of my generation, that is destroyed by the madness, that naked starves hysterical, 

 

dragging to itself along the streets of the black one to the dawn, that seek an evil in daybreak repaired, 

 

enthusiasts of jazz of angelheaded, burning for ancient heavenly communication to a star dynamo in machines of night,

 

who poverty and a tatter and of sunken eyes and themselves high sit smoking in top in obscurity flat darkness of A25@E5AB25AB25==>9  through the tops the cities

 

that discovered their brains to the Sky under the el and saw the angels of Mohammedan that stagger in visionaries dwelling ceilings, 

 

Who passed through universities the shining eyes hallucinating @:0=70=A:0O and Blake-easy tragedy among scientists of war,

 

Who has been sent from academies for mad and issuing obscene odes at windows of a skull,

 

that  was compressed in unshaven rooms (places) without shaving in the interior clothes, burning its money in baskets for papers and listening to Horror (Terror) through a wall,

 

Who has been ruined (broken) in their beards of pubic  ;>1:>2KE which are coming back through Laredo with a zone of marihuana for New York,

 

Who eats fire (fire) in  color hotels  or turpentine in the Lane of Paradise, death,  or purgatoried its torso night

 

With dreams, with drugs (medicines), with awake nightmares,  alcohol and the rooster and the unending bullets,

 

the incomparable blind streets of shudder cloud and the flash in the spirit jumping towards the centers Canada & Paterson, illuminating all motionless world of Time between,

 

Peyote stability of the halls, the backyard cemetery tree green not at all, dawn, wine intoxication on roofs, storefront blinking village communities of teahead syringe tour neon wrong traffic light, the sun and the moon and fluctuations of a tree in roaring twilights of winter of Brooklyn, **overflow** ashcan flood of words and kind light of king of opinion steals the machine for short time,

 

that **overflow** **overflow** linked to the subways for the the endless walk of the Battery to holy Bronx on benzedrine while noise of wheels and children did not force down their shivering mouth-destroyed  and broke cold (severe) of a brain all dried up of brightness in the drear light of Zoo,  

 

Who has decreased (was immersed) all the night long in the underwater light 8:D>@40, started and sat within stale day of beer in deserted $030778, listening to a crack of destruction on the hydrogen musical automatic device,

 

that continually spoke seventy hours of the park to pad to block lost bends vomit screams themselves to shut out to Bellevue to the museum to the Brooklyn Most,

 

a batallion of lost conversationalists **overflow** the **overflow** that jumps downward the stoops says good-bye far away the escapes far away far away from fire ladders from window sills from the State (Condition) of Empire of the moon 

 

yacketayakking of moon that screams to vomit whispering to the facts and memoirs and jokes and nails the look in the kicks and the blows of hospitals and prisons and wars,

 

Whose intelligence, 8725@3=CBK5 in a full response within seven days and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the synagogue throw on the pavement,

 

that disappeared in no  place Zen New Jersey leaving a picture track town Hall Atlantic,

 

leaves, suffering the sweat and bone-grinds Orientals of Tangerian and migraines of China under the stuff-retreat in the desolate space supplied (delivered) room (place) of Newark,

 

that wandered and around at midnight in railway O@45, specified by a question where to go, and has gone, not leaving any broken (broken) hearts,

 

cigarettes in lit in the racketing of vans vans vans by the snow

towards the farms of lonesome in the night of grandfather, 

 

Who has studied  Plotinus Po C-John Vzaimnoj (Rough) telepathy and servitude 181>?0 because the universe instinctively vibrated in their legs(foots) in Kansas,

 

Who loned it through streets of State of Idaho, 8I0 illusive Indian angels who were illusive Indian angels,

 

that thought Baltimore gleamed in the supernatural ecstasy, 

 

that jumped in the limousines with the oklahoma Chinese on the rain impulse of smalltown of winter midnight streetlight,

 

that starving lounged and lonesome by Houston looking for the jazz or a floor (sex) or soup, and followed the brilliant Spaniard to talk about approximately America and eternity , a task without hope, and therefore took the boat to Africa, 

 

that disappeared in the volcanoes of Mexico you're welcome leaving nothing behind, but the shadow of working suits and that and the ash of the poetry, absent-minded in a fireplace of Chicago,

 

that was republished on the west Coast examining the FBI in the beards and blinkers with big pacifistic eyes, sexual in their dark leather(skin), that dismays the incomprehensible pamphlets, 

 

Who 653 apertures of a cigarette in their hands (weapon) objecting to a fog of tobacco of a drug of Capitalism who has distributed(allocated) Supercommunistic brochures in the Square (Area) of the Union crying and @074520=85 while A8@5=K Los Alamos yelled them downwards, and yelled, downwards the Wall, and the ferry of Island Staten also yelled,

 

that broke down crying in the white, naked and a shiver in front of machines of other skeletons,

 

the one that bit detectives in the neck and screamed in policecars to not transfer (to not make) any crime,  but their own wild virgin land  of cookery and intoxication,

 

the one that governed 2K; in the SUBWAY, from the roof, the waves,   rippling organs genitals and manuscripts,

 

Who dares to be fucked in 704=8F5 by sacred motorcyclists, and shouted for pleasure,

 

that blew and was blown by those human seraphs, the sailors, and tenderness of Atlantic and Caribbean love has been carried away by those

 

The balled mornings evenings in the rosegardens and the lawn of the parks and the cemeteries they scatter the seed freely to to whoever comes who is able, 

 

Who hiccuped, indefinitely trying to giggle, but finished with sobbing behind a partition in a Turkish Bath when the blond one & the nude angel came to pierce them with a sword, 

 

that that lost their loveboys to the three old 75<;5@>9:0< destinies one eyed 75<;5@>9:0 heterosexual dollar one eyed 75<;5@>9:0 which blinks from a uterus and one eyed 75<;5@>9:8 which really only sits on her(it) 704=8F5  and hacks the intellectual golden threads of the loom of the workman

 

which copulated ecstatic and insatiable and the bed fell, and continued along the ground and down the hall and finished unconscious on the wall a vision of last cunt and comes evasively the last gyzym of the knowledge, 

that nothing sweetened the seizures of a million girls shivering in a decline, also were red eyed in the morning, but was prepared to sweeten the sudden attack of the exit of the sun, 2KA25G820O buttocks under sheds and naked in the lake, 

 

that took out whoring through Colorado in a myriad the stolen evening cars, N.C., the confidential hero of these poems, cocksman and Adonis to the memory of his innumerable situations the girls in empty quantities & the backyards of diner, the moviehouses' the rows shaking, in summits in caves or with the hollow waitresses in slip upliftings solitary, by the road and familiar & the station solipsisms especially secret services of johns, & the origin town alleys also, 

 

Who gradually disappeared in vast sordid movies, were changed in the dreams, awakened in a sudden manhattan, and they collected themselves out of basements hungover with heartless Tokay Horror third avenue selected iron dreams & stumbled to the unemployment offices, 

 

Who went all the night long with their boots full of blood on docks of a snowdrift, expecting for a door in East River to open full steamheat and opium,

 

that created great dramas you kill in the precipice-banks of apartment of the Hudson under the wartime blue floodlight of the moon & the heads will be crowned with laurel in oblivion, 

 

Who eats O3=5=:0, are extinguished from imagination or the digested crab in the dirty basis of the rivers Surrounded by greens,

 

Who cried in the novel of streets with their manual carriages (children's carriages), full of an onion and bad music, 

 

Who sat in the boxes inhaling the obscurity under the bridge, and has risen up to build harpsichords in their attics 

 

who coughed on the sixth floor (floor) of Harlem crowned with flame under the tuberculous sky, surrounded with orange baskets of divinity,

 

that scribbled all rock and roll night by over the high incantations that in the yellow morning was of the animals,

 

Who prepared for a rotten tail of legs(foots) of heart easy animals borsht and flat <08A>2K5 the flat cakes dreaming  of the pure vegetable kingdom,

 

that sank to itself low under the meat trucks looking for an egg,

 

Who has thrown their hours from a roof to throw their ballot for Eternity outside of Time, and alarm clocks fell on their heads everyday for the next decade, 

 

that successfully unsuccessfully cuts its wrists three times, stopped and have been compelled to open ancient warehouses where they thought they grew old and cried, 

 

Who has been burnt alive in their innocent flannel claims (suits) on 048A>=A:>9 the Avenue (Means) among explosions of a lead verse and tanked-upward a roar iron ?>;:>2 fashions & the shrieks of nitroglycerine of the fairies of the publicity & the gas 3>@G8FK ominous intellectual editors, or has been reduced by drunk taxi of the Absolute Validity,

 

that jumped far away the Bridge of Brooklyn this happened really and ran away unknown and forgot anesthetized in the ghostly bewilderment of Chinatown soup alleyways & firetrucks, not even one free beer,

 

Who sang from their windows in despair, has fallen from a window of a underground, has jumped up in dirty Passaic, jumped on the black,  cried everywhere in the street, danced on wineglasses broken crushed barefoot  broken (broken) glasses barefoot was broke, reports (records) of a phonograph of a nostalgic jazz of the German of 1930 European have  finished the whiskey and vomited in the bloody (damned) toilet, groans in their ears and the explosion enormous steamwhistles,

 

Who has poured  down below the roads of the last travel to loneliness of prison of hotrod-Golgotha each other, observe 18@<8=35<A:>5 a jazz embodiment,

 

Who has forced seventytwo hours on a cross-country terrain to learn(find out), whether I had vision, or you had vision, or it(he) had vision to learn(find out) Eternity,

 

Who travelled to Denver who has died in Denver who  dehumanized Denver & awaited in vain, who watched (kept up) Denver both brooded and loned in Denver and at last has left to learn(find out) Time, and now Denver is lonesome for its heroes,

 

Who has fallen to their knees in the hopeless cathedrals praying concerning rescue each other and light and breasts while the soul did not shine(cover)  their hair for a second,

 

 that is crushed by their spirits in the prison expecting for impossible criminals with gold heads and the charm of the validity in their hearts that sang a sweet blues to Alcatraz,

 

Who has left (has left) to Mexico cultivating a habit, or the Rocky Mount to offer Buddha or Tangiers to boys or Peaceful Southern T8E><C to ocean on the black locomotive or Harvard to the Narcissus to Woodlawn to daisychain or a tomb,

 

Who has demanded the tests (courts) of  the health processes of spirit  accusing radio of hypnosis and was left with their madness both their hands and a jury, not developing the uniform decision,

 

threw that potato salad at  CCNY lecturers on Dadaism and subsequently has presented itself on steps of a granite of a madhouse with shaved heads and speech HCB0 suicides, demanding instant ;>1>B><8N,

 

And who were given instead  the concrete emptiness,  insulin Metrazol Psychotherapy employment therapy pingpong & amnesia ,

 

 that in protest **overflow** humorless overturned only one symbolical pingpong a table, having a rest briefly in :0B0B>=88,

 

 returning years **overflow** after really bald except a wig of blood, and tears and fingers, to the visible of the districts of the madtowns of the East,

 

to Rockland of the state of Pilgrim and to the lobbies of foul Greystone, souls altercating with an echo, rocking and rolling in the midnight benches of loneliness of love, dream of a life a nightmare, the bodies turned to stone as hard as the moon,

 

 with the mother finally *****, and last fantastic book thrown from a window of the rented apartment, and last door closed at 4 o'clock in the morning and the last slammed telephone to the wall in the response and the last furnished piece emptied to the last piece of intellectual furniture, a rose in yellow paper twisted on a wire hanger on the wall closet, and even that imaginary, only encouraging a hopeful small bit of the hallucination—

 oh, Carl, while you are certain, I am not certain, and now you are actual in the full animal soup of time—

 

and who consequently ran the ice streets obsessed with a sudden sparkle of the alchemy of the use of the suspension point the catalog the meter & the vibrant airplane,

 

Who dreamed and has made, intervals in time and space through combined images (images), and 70<0=5==K9 in a trap (caught) archangel tooksoulbetween 2 visual pictures and joined the essential verbs and  regulated a noun and feature of the consciousness together skipping with sensation 59B@0 ‑<=8?>B5=A0 5B5@=K 5CA0

 

To update syntax and the measure of poor human prose and  poor human prose and stand before you speechless and intelligently and shaking with shame, rejected, nevertheless a recognition soul to correspond(meet) to a rhythm of idea in his(its) naked and infinite head,

 

704=8F0 a lunatic and an angel beat in time, the unknown person, nevertheless placing here, which could be left, on time to say death,

 

 and rose to the rhythm of the thought in its naked and endless head The ghostly dresses of the jazz in the gold horn shadows of a strip (orchestra) and  blew the suffering of the mind Of America for the love in a shout of the saxophone of sabacthani of lamma of lamma of eli of eli that shivered the cities down below to the last radio 

With absolute heart of the poem hammered from their own bodies (bodies),  well to eat one thousand years.

 

 

 

II

 

What sphinx of cement and aluminum struck open its skulls and itself ate on its brains and imagination?  

 

Moloch! Loneliness! Dirt! Ugliness! The garbage cans and the impossible dollars to obtain!  The children screaming under the stairways!  The boys sobbing in the armies!  The old men crying in the parks!

 

Moloch!  Moloch!  The nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the unloving!  Moloch mental!  Moloch the heavy judger of men!  

 

Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the tepid crusade merciless jail and Congress of the grief!  Moloch whose buildings are judgment!  Moloch the expanded stone of the war!  Moloch the anesthetized governments!  

 

Moloch whose mind is pure(clean) machines!  Moloch whose blood runs money!  Moloch whose fingers ten are armies!  Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo! Moloch whose ear is a smoldering tomb!

 

Moloch of which it the eyes are a thousand blind windows! Moloch, whose skyscrapers hold themselves in the long streets as unending Jehovas! Moloch whose factories dream and are strangled in the fog! Moloch whose chimneys and antennae crown the cities!

 

Moloch whose dear is endless oil and the rocks! Moloch whose soul is electricity and banks!  Moloch whose poverty is the genius ghost!  Moloch of which it goes out it is a cloud of hydrogenates sexless! Moloch whose name the mind is!  

 

Moloch in that I sit solitary! Moloch in which I dream angel!  Crazy in Moloch!  Cocksucker in Moloch!  Lacklove and manless in Moloch!

 

Moloch that registered my soul early! !  Moloch in which I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch that frightened me out of my natural ecstasy!  Moloch that I abandon! Wake up in Moloch!  The light flows out of the sky!  

 

Moloch!  Moloch!  Robot dwellings! invisable suburbs!  Skeleton treasure chambers! blind capitals! demonic industries!  Spectral nations! the houses of crazy invincible ones! Granite roosters! terrible bombs!

 

They broke their backs raising Moloch to the Sky! Pavement, trees, radios, tons! raising the city to the Sky that exists and is everywhere around us!  

 

Visions! presage them! the hallucinations! the miracles! ecstacies! brought down the American river!  

 

Dream! adorations! the lighting! the religions! the entire cargo of sensitive shit!  

 

Large achievements! On the river! Clicks and crucifixions! brought down the flood!  High!  Epiphanies!  Despairs! The animal of ten years shouts also suicides!!  Spirits!  New likes!  Crazy generation! down below on the stones of Time!  

 

Real sacred laughter in the river! They saw all this! Wild eyes! Sacred cries! They said goodbye! They have jumped off from a roof! To loneliness! ?><0E820=85! carrying flowers! Downwards to the river!  into the street!  

 

 

 

III

 

Carl Solomon!  I am are am am must feel am with you in skirt country  

Where you are more mad than I 

 

I am with you in skirt country 

where you strangely 

 

I am with you in skirt country 

Where you imitate a shade (shadow) of my mother, 

 

am with you in skirt country 

Where you have killed your twelve secretaries, 

 

who am I with you in skirt country

where you laugh at this invisible humor

 

that I am you in Rockland 

Where we are the big authors on the same awful typewriter

 

that I am with you in Rockland 

where your condition became serious and informs by radio

 

I am with you in skirt country, 

where the faculty of the skull admits no longer (do not recognize) worms of feelings (senses)

 

I am with you in Rockland 

where you drink the tea of the breasts of the unmarried ones of Utica 

 

am with you in skirt country 

the bodies of of the Bronx 

 

that I am with you in Rockland 

where you scream in a compulsion jacket, that you lose the game of actual pingpong of the abyss 

 

that I am with you in Rockland

where you hit on the catatonic piano the soul is innocent and immortal that it never must die irreligious in a house of crazy armies

 

that I am with you in Rockland

where fifty more of shocks never will return your soul to a cross in emptiness

 

that am with you in Rockland

where you accuse your doctors of insanity and plot the Hebrew revolution of socialist against the fascist national Golgotha

 

I with you in skirt country where you will split the skies of long island and revive your living person Jesus from a superhuman tomb

I with you in skirt country, 

Where there is twentyfive one thousand mad comrades all together singing of final stanzas "=B5@=0F8>=0;0"

 

that I we am 

Where we embrace and kiss the United States under our bedsheets the United States which coughs all the night long, and will not allow us to sleep, and

 

I - with you in Rockland 

         Where we wake up electrified out of the coma by the airplanes of our own souls, that roar over the roof, they  came to lower (to pass(miss)) angelic bombs 8;;N<8=0BK hospitals independently imagined crash of walls O the lean legions controlled outside O star - C:@0H5==K9-1;5AB:0<8 impact of mercy which is  the eternal war of the grace  O, the victory forgets your underwear, we are free

 

that I am with you in Rockland

in my dreams you walk dripping from sea travels on the highway over America in tears to the door of my little house in the western night